Too Lazy to write a Bulls NYE post...

Maybe it's because the Bulls are under performing or maybe its because I only stayed up to watch the first half of last night's game against the Queens.  I just don't feel like re-hashing what happened.  Instead I'll give you links to people who are way better at writing about the Bulls and are slightly more articulate than myself.

• The Bulls are 2-1, but this Mike Wilbon article explains why Derrick, Thibs, and the city of Chicago are a little uneasy about their play early in the season.

• Good article about Derrick Rose's mindset about winning MVP and losing in ECF's last year.

• Another Derrick Rose article about learning from MJ and what he things about the Westbrook/Durant "feud".

• Who is the next "Toni Kukoc"?  That would be this man, Nikola Mirotic.

• Dwight Howard playing next to Derrick Rose? Adidas may not let that happen, read about it here.

Special birthday shout out to Tiger woods who can be seen in this video about to win his first tournament in 2 years.  Even though it was his own private tournament, isn't sanctioned by the PGA, and only had 17 other participants.  A win is a win isn't it?  MASHED POTATOES!!!

Another birthday shout out to the one and only Lebron James.  If you didn't like the Heat before, I'm pretty sure you'll at least think that they are huge douches after watching their intro video.  Some things to note while watching

•  Chris Bosh thinks he's on the same level as LBJ and Wade, but not even close.

• Who thought it was a good idea for Shane Battier to go with the double popped collar?

• Mike Miller looks slightly out of place

• Eddy Curry is still alive?

And with that, Go Bulls, Beat Lob City, and Happy New Year. 

Bulls Kings Thoughts...merry new year

I need to figure out again how to put pictures on this site in the middle of articles because if I could remember I would put a large picture of shattering glass to represent how badly Jimmer Fredette was getting his ankles broke yesterday by D Rose and CJ Watson. CJ was the MVP last night in a game that saw the Bulls blow a 15 pt half time lead. D Rose was getting hosed all night by the refs and CJ was forced into serious minutes and really rose to the occasion.

other notes-
* Jimmer Fredette is totally useless defensively and offensively I do not think he has a clue. Clearly he is white and short so he can drill 3's if left open but he continued to dribble into no man's land in the paint and make interesting decisions with the basketball.
* Demarcus Cousins is obnoxious. He can play. but he is obnoxious. There was not a minute I was watching the game and didn't want to punch him in the nose.
* Omer played awesome for having a pathetic looking stat line. I truly dig his style and clearly "GarPax" knew what they were doing when they didn't ship him to another team for a second rate 2 guard. "Omer"ica took Cousins out of his game and made scoring in the paint a real chore for the Kings.
* Ummmm....that's it Merry New year from us at the Cheese....We will be posting more regularly at the start of the New year in hopes of growing the site. we shall see how that goes....doubt it goes far.....but what the hell, world's supposed to end in 2012 anyways.....Go Cubs

Rough Start to Bulls Season

The Bulls pulled off a tough win on Christmas Day and followed up with a lackluster performance against the Warriors last night.  Both games can be summed up using Golden State's new coach and former ESPN NBA commentator Mark Jackson's two catch phrases (of which he has trademarked, not kidding).

Bulls v. Lakers - "Mama, there goes that man..."
You might be thinking that I'm talking about Derrick here, I mean he did hit that ridiculous floater with Pau's paw in his face (you see what I did there).  But I'm actually talking about Lt. Deng and his stupid looking faux-hawk.  Deng came up huge down the stretch.  He had nine points in the 4th quarter (21 in the game) and played an integral part of the comeback win.  When everything was all but lost, Luol had a three point play, made two free throws, made the steal that led to Rose hitting the floater with 4.8 seconds left, then blocked Kobe's last second shot.  The Bulls scored the last 7 points of the game and Luol was guarding Kobe the entire time.  Rose had an efficient game himself scoring 22 points on 13 shot attempts.  He had his long range shot going which was nice and had a ridiculous reverse layup.  For the first game of the season after a long lockout ridden off-season, he had a good game.  I just don't think he was aggressive enough on the offensive end (zero free throw attempts).  Rip was a non-factor as he was in foul trouble the entire game.  Boozer was decent putting in 15 points, and carried the offense at times.  But he didn't show any improvement in defense.  The bench mob had its first appearance and struggled to do anything offensively.  As a team, they played well defensively.  I would say that 87 points allowed is a success.  Another thing to be noted was that neither Rip nor Boozer were playing down the stretch.  Korver wasn't even being included in offense-for-defense substitutions.  I predicted an easy win against this depleted Laker team, maybe I underestimated Kobe and his white teammates' resilience or overestimated the readiness of the Bulls.  Either way, the Bulls pulling off a win was a Christmas miracle.

Bulls v. Warrios - "Hand down, man down..."
Very frustrating game to watch and not just because the Bulls lost to a team coached by Mark Jackson and Pete Meyers.  Plain and simple, the Bulls were dominated on both ends of court and in every facet of the game.  The Bulls couldn't defend the high pick-and-roll.  The Warriors doubled Rose off the pick-and-roll and he couldn't get past it.  The Bulls couldn't get back in transition as Oakland looked like "Lob City North".  The Warrior backcourt of Ellis and Curry combined for 47 points (26 and 21 respectively) compared to the 23 put up by Rip and Rose (10 and 13 respectively).  All 10 of Rip's points were scored in the first half and Rose was not aggressive on the offensive end again.  Where do I start with Boozer?  Six points in 26 minutes.  UGH.  Seriously dude, what the fuck.  Three straight times he tried to get the ball in the post, he let his entry passes get tipped away for steals.  His defense was an atrocity.  There was one play where Rip got his shot blocked by Ellis as he curled off a down screen and Steph pushed the ball up the court.  Boozer just let him get to the rim without making him change directions or pace.  But at least he pointed at Steph and yelled "hey" in transistion.  MOVE YOUR FEET BOOZER!  He was severely exposed in the 3rd quarter by David Lee.  Biting on pump fakes, getting schooled in the post.  Boozer often left Joakim the only one in the paint to try and grab a rebound.  It's frustrating that both Lee and Boozer were given very similar deals for $80M, but Lee actually rebounds and works hard on both ends.  Thibs took too long to take him out for Taj.  The Bulls went with a smaller lineup with Rose/Watson/Deng/Korver/Taj down the stretch to get more scoring, but it was too much too late.  It sucks because the Bulls were on the verge of getting blown out of the gym, but made a small comeback at the end and couldn't rest Rose and Deng.  Rip, Boozer, and Joakim were all on the pine in the closing minutes.  That's, uh, not very good.

I know it's only 2 games into the season, but it's frustrating to see Boozer the same level defensively as last year.  Rip Hamilton was more of a factor against the Warriors, but disappeared in the 2nd half.  Rose only had 13 points and again wasn't aggressive getting to the rim.  The only stalwart on both ends was Luol.  When Rose has a bad game, it seems like everyone around him crumbles too.  That can't happen, especially when Boozer and Joakim are being paid that amount of money.  Next game is Thursday against the Kings (who beat the Lakers last night) and Friday against Lob City.  Hopefully the Bulls don't come back to Chicago with a 1-3 start.

Derrick Rose Spreads Christmas Cheer

Almost there folks.  Two more days until the return of DRose and friends.  The Bulls won their 2 pre-season games against the Pacers, but what was there to learn from them?  It was good to have 2 games to shake some rust off as the guys haven't played with each other since losing to the Heatles in June.  DRose had 2 decent games and was able to play with new addition Rip Hamilton in Game 2.  He already looked like he is a great compliment to the team as he was running around all over the place and was able to help the team in transition and get some good looks in the half-court offense.  Teams won't be able to double team off from the SG spot because Bogans won't be standing in the corner anymore and DRose won't have to completely carry the offensive load the whole season.  As long as this team doesn't get bit by the injury bug (I'm looking at you Jo, Booz, and Deng), this looks like a hard team to beat.  The depth on the bench is a luxury.  Having CJ, RonRonJuice, TajMahal, Asik, and HotSauce come off the bench is great for the team.  We will probably see a lot of them because of the crazy scheduling.  HotSauce and Jimmy Butler probably aren't going to see a ton of minutes (HotSauce sucks at defense and Jimmy is a rook) barring any injuries.

The first game against the Lakers is an interesting one.  Kobe's divorce just went public.  His team had a trade for CP3 in place, then got nixed by David Stern.  Then CP3 went to the Clippers and handed the Lakers' ass to them on a platter.  Lamar Odom was traded for cap space and the Lakers picked up Josh McRoberts and Troy Murphy as his replacement.  Ouch.  Tough couple weeks for Kobe and his degenerating knees.  To top it all off, he injured his wrist/thumb and may not play (but he probably will).  Kobe and Pau are still formidable, but their surrounding cast is a pu-pu platter of poop.  Bynum is suspended for 5 games because he clotheslined JJ Barea in the playoffs last year.  Derrick Fisher has been negotiating for the players union all off-season and didn't even play in the pre-season games because he was working on his fitness.  Metta World Peace is, well, Metta World Peace.  That leaves Luke Walton, Steve Blake, McBobs, and Troy "JourneyMan" Murphy.  The Lakers are going to play more white dudes than black dudes this year, and that is never good.  Bulls shake the rust off and win the Christmas Day Season opener.  They will have the 2nd best record in the NBA (behind the Heatles, yuck) and face the Heatles in the ECF for the 2nd year in a row, BEAT THE HEAT and get into the finals against OKC.  Bulls win the Larry O'Brien Trophy.  Cue the parade and awesome white boy dancing from Omer.  This is the ultimate jinx by the way...


DRose also signed a contract extension that goes into affect next year.  They signed him to the max contract of 5 years for $95 million.  Best thing about it is that he didn't request any player options to opt out and he is fully committed to the Bulls for the entirety of the contract.  That's pretty awesome and as Thibs said, "Wish it was a 10 year contract".

Hawks are still number 1 in points in the NHL with Philly and Minny hot on their heels.  They suffered a loss against the Crosby-less Penguins, but came back with a win against the Habs.  Time to end this post with a great holiday video from the Blackhawks production team.  To the six people who view this site, Merry Christmas.

"Sam I AM.....in Deep Deep Sh*t" An By Article Gaeger, Gaeger & Gaeger, Chet Steadman's Legal Expert

By now we have all heard plenty of times the facts surrounding Sam Hurd’s arrest for conspiring to sell a half a kilogram of cocaine; cocaine purchased from a federal agent no less. Reciting the facts of the case yet again would be a pointless exercise. What is more important, is the four reasons why Sam Hurd is in deep deep shit. Considering I have defended a few clients facing federal drug charges, I thought I would relay how bad it might get.

1. Federal Involvement: If you know anything about the federal legal justice system from living in Chicago, you know this – The feds aren’t screwing around.. We have seen politician after politician, and governor after governor head to Terra Haute Indiana to serve lengthy prison sentences in the great state of Illinois. The reason for this is more than just the fact that they were guilty as sin. The reason is that the feds don’t lose. The U.S. Justice Department and the U.S. Attorney’s office have a blank check when it comes to prosecuting federal crimes. On top of that, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE) has recently come under fire for their lack of effectiveness in dealing with the influence of the Mexican drug cartels on the drug trade in the United States. Thus, when you get ICE involved, you are asking for it. The depth and thoroughness of the investigation was most likely out of this world. Evidence such as confidential informants, wiretaps, and video surveillance is bound to come to light. This type of evidence is devastating at trial. With a 90%+ conviction rate, the U.S. Attorney should have a cakewalk with this one.

2. Federal Sentencing Guidelines: I will keep this one short and sweat… even thought it is probably what will keep Sam Hurd up at night for the next year. Unlike most states (Illinois included) sentencing in federal court is not solely dependant on the crime committed. Under the federal rules, the type of crime only sets a minimum, but a judge is free to go as high as he would like. And let me tell you… the minimums are high. As the case is charged now, the federal guideline sets the minimum at a decade. Not good.
3. The Charge and the Federal Ability to Amend Charges: People must realize that up until almost the trial stage, the Federal Government has the right to amend the charges commensurate to what they feel they can prove. From all preliminary reports, it could get much worse. Here is why. First, Sam is charged with conspiracy. This is a relatively easy charge to prove. In order to get a conviction, the government need only prove that he took substantial steps with a co-conspirator to commit a crime. Completing the crime is irrelevant. Considering the weights and amounts of drugs that have been thrown out there, there is nothing holding the U.S. Attorney’s Office back from charging Hurd with a crime that holds a minimum of life without the possibility of parole. Bad News Bears.
4. The Venue: Last but not least, it’s not only what Hurd has been charged with, but where he could stand trial that could be devastating. Federal Court is different from state court in the fact that you are not permitted to have a “bench trial” where the judge hears the case and finds guilt or innocence. Under normal circumstances, having an judge decide conspiracy cases is much more desirable because they know the law better. In Federal Court however, you MUST have a jury trial should you decide against taking a plea. With that in mind, lets look at Sam’s potential jury pool. North Texas has become a battleground for the Mexican drug cartels. Needless to say, they are not to fond of people who deal with them. Because ICE is the investigating agency in this case, there is no doubt that Sam’s operation was in close contact to the cartels (it would have to be in order for ICE to have jurisdiction instead of the FBI or DEA). Furthermore, Texas isn’t exactly the most minority friendly state in the Union. Finally, he is an ex-Cowboy… doesn’t help.

All in all… Its looking more like bologna sandwiches instead of green eggs and ham for Sam Hurd.

.
David Gaeger is a Criminal Attorney at the law firm of Rotunno & Giralamo, P.C. and as much as he wishes he was.... is not pictured above.

Sam Hurd's Reindeer Games

Holy Mother of god. I mean Sam Hurd. Sam Hurd. Guy is a special teams expert by day, and Stringer Bell by night. I mean we are talking some serious drugs. Like 1k pounds of weed and 5 to 10 kilos of cocaine. As someone not familiar with drugs, I needed a little clarification on how much coke was 10 kilos worth. Well it is about 5 standard size bags of flour from your local grocery store. Call me crazy but that sounds like an exorbitant amount of coke, and he was going to sell that much per week. What has become most evident following all these new revelations is that Sam Hurd was a much better drug dealer than he was a football player. He was making 10 times his 685k base salary per year on the drugs. Dude is a kingpin. So the next question that has to be asked is, was Sam Hurd the cocaine distributor to the NFL. He was selling 100k of coke for 5 times that so he was clearly not running it on the street. My theory is that Sam Hurd is gonna go all DOnnie Brasco on the NFL and bring to light a whole side of the NFL that we do not want to believe is involved in pro sports, but with big money, you get big drugs. I mean could you have imagined a better way for the Bears to end their season. I mean they lost their franchise QB and RB and just got beat by the horse sh*t AFC West. This team will probably not win another game and this season will be known as the season of "DISSAPOINTMENT." The Bears went from the only team in the NFC that could give the Pack a game to an afterthought in 3 weeks, and having the NFL's biggest drug dealer scumbag on their roster. Nice job Jerry. Caleb Hanie stinks. And I have one more observation from this whole situation. NIU "Northern Illinois University" is churning out a lot of criminals....It's becoming the new AMTRAK in that not a year goes by without an NIU student committing a serious crime. Caleb Hanie is horrific at football. I'm back and I'm out.....Chet

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

As this comes as a surprise to no one, the Bulls finally signed free agent Rip Hamilton to a 3 year deal.  The question is how does this affect the Bulls?

The Good - Rip is a veteran who can step right into the the starting SG role.  In his 12 year career he has averaged 18 PPG and a 45/35/85 shooting percentage with almost identical numbers in the playoffs.  He's been on three all-star teams, went to the Eastern conference finals 6 years in a row, been to the finals twice and came out a champion once.  He definitely brings more experience to this younger squad.  He's more polished offensively than Bogans (who's extension will not be signed) and RonRonJuice and is another scoring option to help DRose.

The Bad - At the ripe age of 33, there are questions as to how he is going to hold up in this shortened and compacted schedule.  How will his legs hold up playing 5 games in 7 nights and back-to-back's 17 times this season.  Although he is better offensively than Brewer or Bogans, he isn't the type of guy who creates his own shot in isolation.  In the early to mid 2000's, the Pistons would shove down opponents throats a steady diet of Rip running off down screens and either continuing his drive to the basket, popping in a mid range jumper, or finding one of the Wallaces rolling to the bucket.  Don't know if he can still run for days like he used to, or how much on the ball offense he'll create.

The Ugly - Rather than talk about the stupid mask Rip wears, I saved this section for last night's Hawks Shootout winner.  The only ugly thing about this clip is how foolish Kaner makes Backstrom look on this filthy goal.  Funny to see Kaner undress someone other than a Chicago co-ed in Wrigleyville.

This past week in sports....

One of the more memorable weeks in sports in a long time.  Ranking the best events in reverse order:

#4 Commit to the Chief - Hawks have won two in a row in OT (Isles and Sharks) with game winning goals by Patrick Sharp.  They are #2 in points in the NHL, and play the #1 MinnyWild on Wednesday night

#3 The NBA is back - Free agency period started, the Bulls are stagnant, and CP3 trades to both teams in LA are shot down.  I would have been more excited to see him go to the Clippers if they could have kept Eric Gordon.  CP3 alley oops to the Blake-show on the reg.  Rip Hamilton cleared waivers and will probably be signed by the Bulls shortly.  Rumor is that GarPaxDorf didn't even offer JRich the entire mid-level exception.  Way to low ball him.  Plus, I met Captain Omerica at Nike Town.

#2 Tebow takes down the Bears - How can you not watch this guy and laugh.  Not because he isn't a good QB, but because of the circumstances of his wins and this crazy/weird association with his relationship to Catholicism/"Is he Jesus reincarnated on the football field?".  Since the Bears are done (I have no faith in Caleb), I will be fully entrenched in "Camp Tebow" for the rest of the season.

#1 Talkin' bout the HOO-HOO-SIERS - Will not say much on this topic even though it holds the top spot.  I was screaming so loud that my neighbors thought I was slaughtering a horse in the apartment.  (staying home on a Saturday night, pretty awesome, I know) Great win for IU and Tom Crean.  I don't want to say the Hoosiers are back, but they are well on their way from the abyss of the past 4 years.  Thanks to Squints for the video...........

Christmas comes early....

Like the phoenix that rises from the ashes, the Bulls' 2011-2012 NBA season has been resurrected and it begins on Christmas day against the Lake-show.  Albeit it is a shortened and condensed schedule of 66 games, I believe it is better than zero.  I can't spend another day watching the talking heads on ESPN take about how great Aaron Rogers is, where Pujols is going to sign (apparently he's going to Anaheim), or the boy touchers at Penn St. and Syracuse.  I need Tim Legler breaking down plays of Omer Asik and exploiting Carlos Boozer as the defensive liability that he is. Just kidding, but not really.  The Bulls schedule looks better than some.  They have a heavy load of away games on the front end (including a 9 game road trip at the end of January), but they play 16 of their last 25 in the UC.  They play the Heatles 4 times (Ugh) and they only play one back-to-back-to-back (Pistons, TWolves, Wiz).

As everyone knows, the free agent period starts at 12:01AM tomorrow morning and the entire city of Chicago is demanding that the Bulls sign a marquee 2-guard.  I have news for you, we aren't getting a marquee 2-guard.  The free agent market isn't as good as last years (LBJ, DWade, Bosh, Joe Johnson) or as good as next years (CP3, Dwight Howard).  We're looking at the likes of Jamal Crawford, Jason Richardson, Arron Afflalo, Nick Young, Caron Butler, Rodney Stuckey (yuck), and Vince Carter (vomit).  Thank god reports came out about Tracy McGrady signing with ATL, so that is one washed up SG off the market that the Bulls can't sign.  The new Amnesty Clause (see below) in the new CBA could make the the free agent market more interesting.  Rip Hamilton and Brandon Roy are names being thrown around that could be available if their teams decide to dump them.  The mitigating factor is how much the Bulls can spend.  Right now they can only afford the mid-level exception which is in the $5M/yr range.  That narrows the list down to probably J-Rich, Butler, Vince Carter (again vomit), and Rip Hamilton if he's amnestied.  Not the sexiest of names by any stretch, but Richardson, Butler, and Rip are serviceable shooters and would give Rose more options offensively.  With the Bulls re-signing Bogans, and additional SG signing would create a log jam at the position with Brewer and Korver on the bench as well.  Which is why there are rumors of a sign-and-trade involving Brewer for Jamal Crawford.  It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but the dude is a chucker and will always be a chucker.  He is also awful on defense (talking about Boozer type defense).  Given that we exchanged words at the casino at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas during Hurricane Irene, we're friends and I can be considered to be a reliable source.

There is also some talk amongst some that they would like to see the Bulls use their Amnesty on Boozer.  Given his a horrendous contract and disappearance in the playoffs, I understand the ire of the fans.  But say we get rid of Carlos, where does that put the Bulls?  The team has more cap room, but who is out there to spend it on?  Unless it makes the Bulls substantially better, there's no way that the front office makes that move.

What the Bulls need to do is trade for Dwight Howard.  Anyone not named Derrick Rose is available.  Do whatever it takes to happen.  Joakim, Luol, Taj/Omer for D12?  Take Hedo Turkoglu's awful contract as well.  Gotta replace one Turk for another.  Even if he is a chain smoking, out of shape, overpaid Turk.  Could the Bulls win a championship rolling out Rose/JRich/Hedo/Boozer/Howard.  I would do this deal every day of the week and twice on Sunday. 

Thank god the NBA is back...


Amnesty Clause - Teams can release one of their players and their contract will not count towards their salary cap so long as they are under contract before this season begins.  Teams may only Amnesty one contract for the length of the CBA (which is until 2022, but has a player/owner option to opt out in 2017 - aka another lockout)

I miss Derrick Rose...

The Bears are mediocre, plain and simple.  J-Cutty and Forte are stuck playing behind a line that could maybe play for a Division 1-AA contender.  House of Spears and his buddies were applying pressure and forcing J-Cutty to run for his life on what seemed like every passing down.  Their defense completely outclassed the Bears' front five.  Running between the tackles was out of the question.  J-Cutty played a hell of a game, imagine what he could have done if he didn't have large men chasing him out of the pocket everytime.  Injuries-shminjuries.  Even if the Bear Jew played, Gabe wouldn't have made much of the a difference.  Frank Omiyale should not be on an NFL roster.  Devin Hester is not a real WR.  He made one difficult catch, but missed an easy catch that would have put the Bears at the Lions' 5-yd line.  Stick to kick returns you hack.  The Bears' pass rush is non-existent.  The secondary is pitiful.  Jahvid Best had not rushed for more than 75 yards in a single game of his career.  He had a TD run of 80 yards alone.  Chris Harris came back from injury and spent most of his comeback getting burned.  Sometimes I wish the didn't lift the NFL lockout.  Can't sell the Lions short though.  Megatron is an impossible cover and Suh is a beast.  The Lions are good and the Bears deserve to be where they are.  That is, drowning in mediocrity thanks to Jerry Angelo and his incompetence as a GM.  Bears fans should protest the Bears management like those hippies on Wall Street.  They are the 1% that believe Jerry should still have a job.  #OccupyHallasHall

In other news, David Stern officially cancelled the first 2 weeks of the NBA season.  BOOOO.  Unlike the NFL lockout, NBA owners lost money last year and are prepared to cancel the whole season unless there are changes in revenue sharing and player contracts.  The owners believe that once the players start missing paychecks their tune will change and they will cave.  The players believe they deserve more money and are unyielding in their stance that they do.  The fans go to the arenas to watch the players play, not to watch the owners own.  They aren't settling for anything less than 53% of the revenue even though the owners just offered them an even 50-50 split.  Who's right in this situation?  No one really.  Is it Rashard Lewis' fault that the Magic were dumb enough to offer him a bloated $120M contract even though he wasn't worth it?  What was he supposed to say? "Listen Otis. Thanks for the offer, but I think you're over-valuing me a bit.  I'm fine with half of that"
 No of course not, but there should be something in the new CBA that will hinder a GM's stupidity of offering horrible contracts. 

The NBA's popularity will take a huge hit.  After years of being on the back burner among casual sports fans, the 2010-2011 NBA season was one of the best in terms of popularity.  Between the surge of new likeable talent (DRose, Durantula, TheBlakeShow, etc.), the drama of Miami Heat's successes and failures, the emergence of small market teams (OKC & Memphis), and the renascence of large market teams (Chicago and NY), the popularity of the NBA was at an all time high since the Jordan years.

As much as I'm excited to watch college bball and IU's incoming talented white boy class (read: overrated), the NBA is far more entertaining.  Hearing about billionaires and millionaires fighting over money is ridiculous.  However, I don't think they're gonna come to an agreement anytime soon.

COMMIT TO THE CHIEF!!!!

Does It Really Matter that Theo is the GM?

While this is not totally official, I have to question how great a move this is. I mean seriously, Theo what are you thinking. This team is a disaster zone. There is almost no hope for this team to be a contender in the near future. You are going to need to replace everyone but Starlin Castro.  Newsflash Cubs Fans : Darwin Barney is Ryan Theriot, but worse.   Is Theo coming to the Cubs exciting. Hell yes is it is, but the dude is just not going to be able to turn this thing around overnight because this team is just not even close to good.   Okay now that I just ranted about that, here is a list of things Theo needs to do immediately.
1.) Fire Mike Quade: I got no qualms with Mike but he is just in over his head.  Guy has sacrificed developing youth for two straight years to try and get a job and then save his job.  Get him out. Bring in Tito or some other person.  Might as well trade for Paul Konerko and make him player manager like Kenny Williams almost did.  It really could not be any worse than this year was.
2.) Start Fresh : Starlin Castro is your team.  Every other position needs to addressed, especially since we may need to trade our entire farm system for your magical fairy dust.  God Dawg
3.) Ummmmmm. Fire everyone....Im talking everyone. Except for Robert the Beer vendor in section 202. 
4.) Try and get the Cubs to relocate for a year, tear down Wrigley and rebuild a new stadium.  It is Loserville, USA.   Convince Jiminy Ricketts to do this and you will have a ship in the next 5 years.
5.) Pray....Only God can help you now Theo.

I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK.....

After coming to the realization that the NBA will be probably missing games this season, I entered a slight state of depression. The dog days of summer were true to the name. The White Sox were uninteresting (until they chose Robin Ventura be be the new manager), Tiger did absolutely nothing since The Masters, and the Bears offensive line woes have continued into this season. To make it even worse, the Lions are good and the pack are better than last year. To top it all off, Adidas continues to tease me with an awesome commercial of Derrick Rose slaloming through matadors like they were the Pacers starting five. NBA blue balls.

Then it dawned on me. The Hawks are back. Johnny cakes, Duncs, Seebs, Sharpie, and Patty Kane have come back to save me from my Chicago sports doldrums. Watching a few of their preseason games, they looked okay. I think they finished 2-5, but doesn't mean squat. Our big boys didn't play until the last 3 games and Sharpie has been sitting out recovering from getting his appendix removed. Kaner had wrist surgery in the off season but it looks like he's fully recovered from that. In an attempt to bolster the team down the middle, Coach Q decided to play Kaner at center with Hossa and newly acquired Andrew Brunette. Captain Serious spent his summer drinking and going to Cubs games with various blond bombshells. Probably gonna come back this year and win the Hart trophy anyway. Duncs wants his Norris trophy back. The hawks will definitly need him to come back in 2010 shape to make another deep run in the playoffs. Nick Leddy hopefully took strides to get better this off season. And we already know what we're getting in Hjalmarsson and Seebs. Steve Montador and Andrew O'Donnell were two older skatesmen picked up to help bolster the blue line. The season starts off tonight with a home-and-home with the Stars. Davy Bolland and Ben Smith are unavailable due to injury. Kinda hurts because Ben Smith brought the hurt last year in the playoffs against the CanSucks as a rook. But two rookies made an impact this preseason and should be key for the team this year. The two Brandons, Saad and Pirri, look like they can hang with the big boys.

Some predictions, Hawks will win their division Duh. The Wings lost Brian Rafalski and Lidstrom is even older than he is. The blues are better than advertised and the preds finally won their first playoff series last year. But the Hawks will still most definitely take it down. I think Bobby Luongo still take the number one seed in the west, followed by the hawks with the number two overall. Hawks take down the West against the Sharks. Look out for the Kings. They were good before, but after trading for Mike Richards, they definitely got scarier. Hawks v. Pens in the Stanley cup finals, it's time to bring the cup back to Chicago. Thank god because their are no other sports going on worth watching.

Sincerely,
Ling Ling the NHL panda

I hate watching baseball....

I can't watch ESPN anymore. I thought game 4 was bad. This hurts about 50x more. I don't even want to write this, but I know I'd be letting the 4 readers down if I didn't.

Derrick had another 25 point performance, but took the blame as to why they didn't win. He didn't make the shots or make the right decisions down the stretch to win. Yeah he had a bad game, but his team didn't help him out. He said he wasn't tired during crunch time, but maybe the rigors of the regular season and going deep into the playoffs took a toll on his body. The Bulls' big men, with the exception of BigSexy (who hasn't played a single minute in about a month), were a no show. Boozer had ZERO lift and was missing bunnies at the rim and/or getting an invite to the Heat's block party. Jo was pretty bad on offense with his running hook shots. Taj didn't register a point. The above picture may have affected both of their games. Deng was in foul trouble late in the game, and he couldn't be as effective on defense. Somehow Thibs ran out of timeouts at the end of the game for the second time this post season. All this compiled with some suspect decisions from the refs, the Bulls were able to have a double digit lead and shit the bed down the stretch. Ugh. Absolutely gutted.

I know the Bulls exceeded everyone's expectations this year. I know once Jo went down in the regular season, I thought the Bulls would be no better than a 4th seed. But once the playoffs started I was thinking championship all the way. Maybe I was spoiled by the 90's. When I was a kid, every time the Bulls made the playoffs they won the whole thing. I didn't think the same thing with those Hinrich led teams because they didn't have the talent. But we had the MVP, the COY, the deepest bench in the league, and the #1 defensive team. And I know that with the exception of DWade and MAGIC Johnson (My Ass Got Infected, Coach....maybe a low blow right there, but I'm emotional, sorry I'm not sorry) pretty much every player goes through some sort of heart break before they win. Maybe I made the mistake thinking this year was different. I started the season thinking the Bulls weren't as good as the Heat, then went to believing we could beat the Heat in a 7 game series, then went to knowing that we weren't as good as the Heat. As I said before, I know DRose is only going to get better. And with the way they went out this year, it will drive him to work on his game this off-season. But the rest of the team has to make the jump to get better just as Rose did this year. Or GarPaxDorf needs to make a call to Otis Smith and steal D12.

Kyle Korver Punk'd the Bulls

I don't even know where to start. Last night was probably the third most depressing day of my life. Honestly, I didn't think that the Bulls inexperience deep in the playoffs would affect this squad. Apparently, (and shockingly not for the first time)
I was horribly wrong. Game 4 followed the template of the previous 2 games. Bulls started out shooting poorly but were still in it because of their defense and they were even up by 11 at one point. But the pressure in the 4th quarter to close out the game was too much for the Bulls. All that stuff about the Heat not being able to close games is pretty much null and void seeing as they did it to Boston and now the Bulls. Derrick had 23 points (8-for-23, 4-for-13 in the first half) and had his third bad game in a row. Boozer had his 20-and-10 but was a disaster on defense. Joakim was somehow making all the plays no one expects him to (running the break in transition and making good decisions with the ball) but not converting on plays that he should (the majority of the time when he has the ball). Deng had a decent game scoring 20 while chasing LBJ around the whole game. If you heard that Rose/Deng/Booz went off for 20 a piece (and Bogans scored 6), you would probably have thought that the Bulls won. NOPE.

The Bench was almost non-existant. AsikAndDestroy has been destroyed. Taj was a non-factor and played 10 minutes. CJ kept us in the game in the 2nd quarter scoring 6 points (maybe even got us the lead at one point) and did a good job when Derrick needed rest. Not so much when sharing the back court with Derrick. RonRonJuice played great D and hit hit a few big buckets. The dude even hit an open 3 bomb to cut the lead down to 1 in OT. RRJ got a majority of the minutes down the stretch because Kyle Korver is pretty much ineffective. He has turned into Carlos Boozer from the first round series. Seems like he's lost confidence in himself, and maybe Thibs has too. If he isn't scoring buckets and stretching the Heat's defense, he's about as useful as a poop flavored lollipop.

MIKE MILLER??? SERIOUSLY??? You haven't played a meaningful minute all post-season and you decided to get it poppin' in game 4 of the ECF? If it isn't Udonis Haslem, its an overrated white shooting guard (who Steve Kerr apparently believes is one of the best rebounding guards in the league). Wade pretty much sucked the whole game except when he unleashed his inner Dikembe Mutumbo in OT (without the unintentional comedy). Bosh didn't throw up a 30 spot, but he still knocked down almost every shot and got to the line when he wanted. LBJ did everything. Scoring points, getting his teammates easy shots (especially when the Bulls were slipping on banana peels, how did they not see them?!?!), making a living a the the free throw line, and guarding DRose.

The Bulls looked tired and way over their head down the stretch and in OT. DRose was trying to put the team on his back and was trying to do too much. Can't blame him because his teammates weren't helping all that much. I think Reggie said that maybe he has lost confidence in his teammates, and it seemed that way. DRose couldn't adjust when LBJ started guarding him. I didn't mind the first step back fade away he took because it looked like he had the separation, just didn't knock the shot down. The 2nd iso against LBJ to end regulation was not so well executed. Going into OT, I thought the Bulls had a great chance to win. They should have won in regulation, but that should have drove them to get it done in OT. Instead they started the extra period with wasted possessions 2 out of the first 3 times down the court. The Heat capitalized on those turnovers converting them into fast breaks and easy points. The Bullsoffense lost all rhythm and they looked like they didn't belong there. They looked very tired and played like it too. But that will happen when DRose doesn't get a blow the entire 2nd half and OT. Jo was playing very hard on the defensive end was dead tired by the time he jogged down to the other side. Deng had been guarding LBJ the entire game. Not good seeing as the Bulls were supposedly the "deepest" team in the playoffs. The Bulls have learned just how important possessions down the stretch are and that they can't be wasted (and at the very least not turned into points for the other team).

The Bulls hadn't lost 3 games in a row all season. But they didn't have to play the Heat 3 games in a row. The Heat are the better team and they are playing like it. I know Derrick will get better in the next few years, but my fear is that his supporting cast has peaked. Jo and Taj need to get better offensively or GarPaxDorf need to figure out how to turn them into Dwight Howard.

Where's the panic button????

The Bulls front office took a risk at the trade deadline by not trading for another scorer. It could pay off for the team down the line because finding great defenders like Taj and Omer is harder than finding shooters. But it looks like right now, that decision is somewhat hurting the Bulls. Other than Rose and Boozer, the Bulls' offense was almost non-existent. Rose had 20 points, but it seems like he still had a bad game. The Heat are doing a great job of throwing double teams at him and getting the ball out of his hands. The Heat are willing to make someone other than Derrick beat them, and right now that plan is working. Derrick is still having a hard time getting to the rim, not getting many attempts at the FT line (3-for-3), and the Heat are forcing him into some bad decisions. Boozer showed up and dropped 26 and 17, but it seemed like he could have had a 35 and 17. He missed a lot of bunnies and even some easy and-ones.

Despite their offensive woes, game 3 was almost deja vu from game 2. The Bulls weren't producing offensively but their defense was keeping them in the game. It seemed like it would get ugly in the 3rd, but the Bulls got stops and some easy points and they were only down 3 going into the 4th. It was then where the lack of offensive weapons hurt the Bulls. Thibs inserted Korver to try and space the floor, but that didn't work out so well and hurt the Bulls on the defensive end. The Heat were 50% from the floor and it seemed like they were going in from anywhere and everywhere. A couple of those shots were near the end of the shot clock and those can be demoralizing. The Bulls would be playing perfect defense and LBJ or Bosh rise up with a few seconds left and a hand in their face and knock it down. Its the playoffs and that's what needs to happen. Unfortunately its going down for the other team and not for the Bulls. It's scary that LBJ only had like 10 shot attempts in the first 3 quarters and then turned it on in the 4th. He was fine facilitating and getting his teammates good shots and then woke up from his shooting slumber at the end of the game to close it out. Even though he wasn't scoring until the end, his effect on their offense was tremendous. Needless to say, its easy to sit back and facilitate when you're passing to Wade and Bosh instead of Bogans and Noah.

It's crazy that the Heat's roster is pretty much a 7 man rotation, while the Bulls are throwing out 10 guys every night. But a majority of the Bulls rotation aren't great two-way players. Rose, Boozer, and Korver are great offensively (usually). Where as Noah, Taj, Omer, Brewer, and Bogans are best on the defensive end. Deng is really the only guy who plays both ends well. The Heat's best players can play both ends (Bosh is serviceable on defense) and because there are 3 of them, 1 or 2 of them are on the court at all times. Its games like these that make me running for the panic button. Thibs will make sure the adjustments are made and Derrick can't have another bad game. Boozer needs to keep rolling and the defense has to be there. One can't expect the Heat to be shooting out of their minds again.

That was ugly...

Shooting 34% from the field, 16-for-26 from the charity stripe, 3-for-20 from beyond the arc, -4 in rebounds, and Derrick shot 7-for-23. That is Khloe Kardashian ugly right there.

The Bulls looked bad from the jump. They couldn't hit the broadside of a barn, but their aggressive rebounding and defense were keeping them in the game (par for the course). As the 1st quarter went on, their defense got stronger and they even finished the 1st up 26-19. You would think that if their rebounding and defensive energy stayed up, their offense would eventually catch up. Well, it turns out they left their offense back in game 1 and the Heat defense showed up. Not a good combination. The Bulls were throwing up bricks from everywhere and anywhere. They even missed 10 shots from the stripe when no Heat player could bother their shot. Check this link from hoopdata.com to see how bad the Bulls were from each spot. The Bulls got a lot of their offense in game one from second chance points from beyond the arc. Those second chance attempts just weren't going down in game two. One of the 3 shots they hit was a 3/4 heave from Deng and another was from Korver in transistion. The Heat were giving Derrick a hard time getting to the rim and when he got there he couldn't finish (2-for-11 from inside 9 feet). A lot of his points came from his outside jumper which as of late, wasn't really going down for him in the past 2 series. Deng started out the first half well with 9 points but finished the game with 13. Korver's shooting woes are still plaguing him which only highlights his inability to defend. Everyone knew that LBJ and Wade weren't going to be held to 33 points again. They came back scoring 54 in game two. They were very influential in the 3rd quarter as they forced the Bulls into bad shots and turned turnovers into fast break points. Udonis Haslem was able to "out-Taj-Gibson" Taj Gibson. He was grabbing offensive rebounds, getting loose balls, creating 2nd opportunites, getting dunks, and hitting jumpers. Steve Kerr was pretty much nominating him as the best power forward in the NBA. That's a stretch for the poor-man's TajMahal.

Even with all this offensive garbage going on, down 11 points at one point, the score was tied at 73-73 with a little more than 7:00 left in the game. Taj and Asik played great defense and were getting the majority of the minutes in the 2nd half. Just like game one, they were causing problems in the paint, altering shots, grabbing boards, and even playing great after switching out on the perimeter. But the Bulls were only able to muster 2 points for the rest of the game. TWO POINTS IN SEVEN MINUTES. Ugh. Derrick tried to carry the team but his shots weren't falling. No one else on the team could help him out and be the second scoring option. All in all it was bad. Very bad. On the other end, LBJ put the team on his back and went on a one person scoring rampage in the last few minutes to close the game for good. Gotta admit, I was a sad man after this game. As bad as the Bulls were, they could have taken the game in the last few minutes. The Bulls gotta shake this one off and come to play on Sunday.

DWade, Welcome to the Taj Mahal

Couldn't have asked for a better result after game 1. The Bulls have put together two great games that were filled with suffocating defense. It looked kind of dicey in the first couple minutes. The Heat ran out to a quick couple fast break points after Bulls turnovers, and it looked like it had the makings of a long night. The Bulls were able to turn it around and turn up their defensive pressure from there.

Deng, Bogans, Brewer, and at some points Rose did a great job individually when they had to guard LBJ/Wade. Further more, the second line of defenders (Booz, Noah, Asik, Taj) did a great job of
clogging up the paint and cutting off those driving lanes that LBJ and Wade strive off of. Even the Bulls' bigs had success when they were switched onto LBJ/Wade on screens. Jo had a big block on Wade and Taj/Asik had a few good defensive sequences when they were switched onto LBJ. The LBJ/Wade combo went for 15 and 18 points respectively and the Heat as a team scored 34 points (LBJ had 5) in the 2nd half. At one point, TNT showed a replay of one of the Heat's huddles during a timeout. During said break, Spols is screaming to his team something along the lines of how they can't beat the Bulls defense with isolation plays. And in a shocking turn of events, on the very next possession we see LBJ pound the ball at the top of the key for most of the shot clock, tries to drive into the paint, sees a bunch of white shirts, and misses a jump shot. Way to listen LBJ. The Bulls will have to figure out how to not let RuPaul go off for 30 points. Jo was a little over committed to LBJ on some of those screens which let Bosh roll to the rim free for a dunk/layup. That being said, if the Bulls can contain the other 2 stars to under 35 points combined and shut down everyone that isn't a Heatle, go ahead and let Bosh get his.

The Bulls' size in the paint and depth off the bench was very troublesome for the Heat. The Bulls owned the battle on the boards to the tune of +12 and pulled down 19 offensive rebounds. Those offensive boards led to 31 second chance points (compared to 8 for the Heat). The Heat pulled down 58% of the available defensive rebounds. Eww. The length of our bigs was too much for the Heat to handle. LBJ said in a a post-game interview that the second chance points were "demoralizing". I was hoping he'd cry. It's well known that with all the cash spent on the big three, putting a team around them would be difficult. Their lack of depth on the bench was exposed as no one other than the big three scored in double digits, Chalmers came close with 9 points. Asik had a 2 dunks and Taj, well, um, he had 2 of his own. If you haven't seen either yet (and I don't know why you haven't) they're at the end along with a special treat for Omerica. Reggie Miller's reactions were just not as good as what Stacey would have done with those calls. CJ did a good job of backing up Rose with 5 assists and Brewer had 8 points including a poster dunk of his own.

The Bulls offense was effective, but not stellar. It's a good thing when they can score 103 points shooting just north of 40% because their defense is so damn awesome. Rose had a good night with 28 points and 6 dimes. Deng chipped in 21, Noah with 9, and Boozer with 14. Boozer got a lot of his points around the rim with put-backs and dunks. He wasn't able to get his outside game or his low post game going. He didn't really demand the ball in his spots which was a little disheartening. Deng as able to score in a variety of ways, shooting from the outside and driving in the paint which was good. Especially since he outscored his counterpart. The Bulls' willingness to share the ball and confidence in their teammates definitely showed as they had 23 assists compared to the Heat's 11. Next game isn't until Wednesday because of Oprah. Go Bulls.





Link to Omerica's girlfriend:
http://www.terezowens.com/chicago-bulls-backup-center-dating-miss-ohio/

And what looks to be AsikAndDestroy doing a little wine-and-dine at the Signature Room
http://www.terezowens.com/chicago-bulls-center-omer-asik-with-miss-ohio/

"This is it, don't get scared now..." - Kevin McCalister

The Bulls finally vanquished the pestering Hawks in stunning fashion. They played suffocating defense with great offensive efficiency. Bulls shot over 50% from the field and had 20 more assists than the Hawks. JJ/JCraw shut down again for under 30 points combined and J-Smooth/Horford were throwing up air-balls almost every other possession. Also didn't hurt when Teague went down with the wrist injury. He clearly wasn't the same after he returned.

Derrick scored 19 points and only needed to hoist up 14 shot attempts because he got offensive help from errybody. Deng chipped in 13, Noah 11, Gibson 10, and Boozer with, um, 23 points. Not only did every shot he hoist go in, but it seemed like none of them even touched the rim. Splash city. I can't expect that to happen all the time, because frankly he hasn't proven that he can do that every night since the postseason started. But if he can do that at least once in the Miami series that'd be great. The bench mob came to play once again. RonRonJuice/TajMahal/Omerica shut the hawks down and Korver was able to hit a couple shots. Hubie Brown was at half-mast just talking about how awesome Omerica is. He would have thrown a MVP vote Asik's way if he could.

And now for the series that everyone wanted. Bulls v. Heatles. Good v. Evil. Navy Seals v. Bin Laden. The Bulls swept the Heat 3-0 in the regular season series by a combined 8 points. Those games mean nothing right now because as the Bulls learned in these first 2 series, the playoffs are a whole different animal. LBJ didn't play in one of those games and RuPaul went 1-18 in another. Both DWade and LBJ missed shots at the end of those games to tie or win the game. This is the leagues best offense going against the leagues best defense. Break it down...

Starting Five:
The Heat have no problem finding offense with the likes of LBJ, Wade, and RuPaul. It will be interesting to see how they try to crack the Bulls #1 defense. Like the Hawks, the Heatles like to run a lot of isos. Deng and Bogans will have their work cut out for them for sure. On the other hand it will be interesting to see how the Heat will guard DRose. Derrick will obviously be able to blow by Chalmers or Bibby. It's how Miami's help defense reacts that should be looked at. The Heat's defense isn't shabby and they have the speed and length on the perimeter. Boozer and Noah should be able to dominate the paint where as LBJ and Wade will be able to handle the outside. The match-ups are intriguing and there I don't see a clear cut advantage. I'll probably regret this. Advantage: Heat

Bench:
Bench Mob vs. The Miami D-League squad. The caveat for spending all that money on the big three was that their surrounding cast is not good. James Jones can drop bombs from behind the arc and Chalmers is a serviceable guard. Other than that the Heat can throw out Mike Miller, Juwan Howard, Eddie House, or BigZ. Not exactly fearful of that bench line-up. The thought of Korver having to guard Wade or LBJ gives me panic attacks. But hopefully he will step up and spread the Bulls offense like he did all year. Taj and Omer are holding their own in the paint right now and RonRonJuice will be part of the defensive platoon. Totally pumped for BigZ v. Omerica. Advantage: Bulls

Coaching:
This isn't close. Spolestra does not hold a flame to Thib's coaching chops. Spols is a 15 year old kid that was handed the keys to a Ferrari. As much as the Heat seem like they are behind their coach, they aren't. Not with Pat Riley looming over Spols' head, ready to escort him to the guillotine if he doesn't take the Heatles to the finals. Spols had that media slip up during "Crygate" and looked overwhelmed with the pressure of managing this rag-tag group of all-stars and junior varsity players. Advantage: Bulls

Intangibles:
Hopefully the Bulls can cut down on the turnovers and win the battles for loose balls. The Heat thrive on scoring off turnovers and transition baskets. LBJ and Wade dunks can shift momentum like no other. The Bulls are finally a clear cut underdog. They weren't completely comfortable with being the favorite in the first 2 series. Derrick played with a chip on his shoulder all year when he said "Why not me" about winning MVP. I expect the team to embrace that attitude during this series and play up to their competition. The Heat still have the pressure of winning that has been building since LBJ told the world where he was taking his talents. The Bulls crowd should be as rabid as ever and The Madhouse will be off its rocker. The Miami bandwagon fans that show up halfway through the first quarter (wearing all white obvi) don't hold a candle to the Bulls fans. Advantage: Bulls

Prediction:
The Heat just beat the Celtics in 5 games and acted like they just won the Larry O'Brien trophy. Good for you, the Celtics are old and Rondo played with one arm for 2 games. Both teams know the gravity of this series and have been probably looking forward to it all season. No lie, its going to be an absolute war. I think its going to be very physical probably a lot of people getting T's and maybe a flagrant or two. The Bulls need to play their asses off on the defensive end, DRose probably needs to go off for 38, and Deng/_____ need to have a couple good scoring nights. I'm sensing that I will be going through a roller coaster of emotions throughout the series. Bulls in 7.

Thor Review

Who's ready for non stop super hero movie action?! Eh. 3 super hero movies coming this summer (Thor, Capt. America, Green Lantern). Thor is the first. Quick summary. Thor is the son of Odin. Odin is the ruler of a far away land out in space that is super advanced in technology and magic. Thor is given immense power by his hammer, Mjolnir, (myol-neer) Basically Thor is a god with a sick ass weapon.

To the movie. Odin is getting old and about to pass his crown on to his son Thor. Everyone loves Thor cause he is a badass and super dreamy. Odin is a bit worried cause his son acts like Lebron and hangs out with his own super best friends. Thor gets angry, makes some mistakes, and Odin tosses his ass to earth, which apparently is prison, shoot he ends up in New Mexico, not exactly Detroit or Newark. Super smart scientist Nat Portman finds him, Thor tries to regain his power, and they fall in love. Of course we find out Thor was setup, his buddies come to save him and Thor does a 180, redeems himself, and blows shit up. Fin.

Basically I didn't like this flick. My first problem is the love story. Thor and Nat Portman fall in love in like 4 mins of film time. Puhhhhlease. Weak ass story, no reason for it, and totally unbelievable, which is saying something since it was easier for me to come to terms with the whole alien God thing. So there's that. Next problem is the production value. The special effects are good and all but the town they are in couldn't be more obvious as a movie town. Fake walls, fake streets, fakey mcfakness . Come on now, you spend 60M on EFX then skimp on the cheap stuff.

The movie has a couple good actors in Hopkins, Portman, and Rene Russo but none of them really do much for me. Portman is fine, the others are hardly on the screen. My boy Stellan Skarsgard is in it, love that guy, he plays Martin Vagner in Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, coming next summer from Sony Pics.

ANYWAY. This isn't an every mans super hero film. People can relate to Spiderman, and Iron Man, and the like cause they are human and happened to be played by really good actors. In comes a hero from space played by a guy who is all hot body and no Shakespeare. Yeah, not so much Marvel.

I give it two Cushes outta five. If you really want to be in the loop for the Avengers movie, go check it out, otherwise pass and see it on HBO or Netflix.

Go Bulls

Captain Omerica: The First Avenger (From Turkey)

Who would have thought that Thibs had the cohones to ride the hot defensive hand of RonRonJuice/TajMahal/Omerica? For a guy who is known to go with the same rotations from game to game, it was surprising to see him not be so stubborn. Overall, the Bulls played a balanced game. Deng got things popping off real nice in the first quarter and played well throughout on both ends. He started off slow in the 2nd half, but got things going later. Lt. Deng had a good bounce back game from his poor showing in game 4 and put up 23 points. Bogans had an 8-0 run by himself to put the Bulls ahead by double digits in the first quarter and played great D on JJ. Boozer had a decent game (11 and 12) but still had a few idiotic moments. Thought he was gonna get a T after head bobbing after a dunk, and he threw a elbow to J-Smooth's jaw after a dunk. Jo had a rough night all-around. He didn't have the aggressiveness and intensity and it seemed to carry over to the rest of his game. He ended up with only 6 rebounds and 0 points. DRose had another great game. He was aggressive going to the rim and got to the line frequently. His decision making on was spot on and he was able to get Boozer, Deng, and Taj involved. Still not hitting outside jumpers with great frequency, but putting up 33 points (on 24 FGA's) and 9 assists will make you forget that. With the line up that Thibs put out in the end of the third and fourth quarters, he had to carry the offensive load. Mission accomplished.

Teague is no longer playing under the radar. The dude is pretty much a poor man's 2008 Derrick Rose. JT pretty much got to the rim off the pick-and-roll when he wanted. Almost makes me wish CaptainKirk wasn't injured. News flash: his quickness is a problem for the Bulls. J-Smooth had an okay game, but wasn't able to dominate game 5 like he did in game 4.

The first stint of the bench mob was brutal. Their offense was brutal and unable to score. Korver was exposed as a defensive liability in the only 4 minutes that he played (zero shot attempts). Meanwhile Pachulia was keeping his team in the game by knocking down every shot and getting some timely putbacks. With a couple minutes left in the third, Thibs inserted Brew/Taj/Omerica and they didn't come back off the court. The Brewer/Deng/Bogans wing combination were able to stiffle JJ/JCraw for 15 and 2 points respectively and Taj/Omer worked hard inside. Omer has learned how to protect the rim without fouling and Taj can roam. Omer's numbers may not be pretty (0 points, 4 rebounds, and 1 block). But it was his defensive presence that made the difference. His +8 was better than both Boozer and Jo's combined (+4 and +3 respectively). Taj was perfect from the field in the fourth quarter. He was able to make his own shot on the post, and Derrick was able to find him open at his favorite spots on the court to knock down those jumpers.

In these playoffs, its been obvious that the Bulls need another scorer to help out Derrick. Their defense has been able to win them some games and Deng has usually been a reliable 2nd option. Last night Taj was able to be that other option down the stretch which was huge for his confidence and the team's success last night. The Bulls won't be able to hide Korver on the bench because of his defensive liabilities every game. He is too important to the spacing on the Bulls offense, especially when he knocks down shots to close games.

Trick or Treat?

In my opinion, the difference between game 3 and 4 was the Bulls' effort and energy on the defensive end. In game 3, the Bulls' stifling D not only held JJ/J.Craw to 17 points combined (2 in the second half) but it also led to easy buckets at the other end. DRose putting up a career high 44 points doesn't hurt either, but it seemed it wouldn't matter either way as the Hawks shot themselves out of the game. The Bulls are hard to stop when they are shooting lights out (Korver had 11 points and 3-for-4 behind the arc), cleaning up the glass (+9), and playing lock down defense. The Bulls' energy was high from the get-go as Larry Drew called a timeout :49 into the game after 2 quick Bulls buckets. Derrick set the tone early by knocking down jumpers, aggressively getting to the rim, and getting to the free throw line. Besides another good game from Teague on the offensive end, the Hawks clearly had nothing to look dejected throughout the game and were never in it from the beginning. They are notorious for mailing it in when they get behind early during the regular season.

Game 4 was a different story. Neither team was able to pull away early, but when the Hawks started out hitting 7 out of their first 9 shots you knew it was going to be a rough game. Derrick was able to get to the rim and the free throw line, but he wasn't knocking it down from outside. As good as the Hawks were hitting from the outside, the Hawks were getting more points in the painted area than they have all series. That can be attributed by the smarter play by Josh Smith. He still took some awful shots (you could hear groans from the crowd), but he kept those down to a minimum. Instead he was aggressive taking the ball inside and making good interior passes for easy baskets. JJ was back to his old self filling up the bucket, Horford was getting easy baskets, and Teague was also getting his own shots at the rim (3 of the Hawks starters had 20+ points, eww). Even with all that going on, and the Bulls shooting poor from the field (Korver stunk up the joint), the Bulls were still in the game going into the last 4 minutes. The Hawks ended the game on a 16-4 run which was marred by DRose taking some rough shots (almost all of them), Bennett Salvatore missing a foul on Rose from behind the arc, and Thibs doing his best VDN impression by losing track on how many timeouts he had left. The Hawks quickness and energy down the stretch was higher than the Bulls and it looks like everyone but DRose was cashed (even though he played every minute in the 2nd half). It sucks because maybe if DRose had some offensive help from someone else than Boozer (read that again), the Bulls win this game. Deng had maybe his worst game of the series (-9), Noah was nullified, and Korver was out of HotSauce. Taj had a decent game with 9 points, 4 blocks, and 2 steals (awesome open court steal from Teague) in 13 minutes. Oddly he also had 0 rebounds in those 13 minutes he played. Omerica had his best game of the series also playing 13 minutes scoring 3 points, grabbing 8 boards, and 2 blocks. Boozer had a good night on the offensive end as he was hitting his jumper for most of the night and had a big play to get the Bulls final lead of the night at 78-76. It sucks that the Bulls have to go back to Atlanta but I'm not hitting the panic button yet. The Bulls had a mediocre game and the Hawks over achieved. Josh Smith can't keep playing at a high (intelligent) level and I expect Thibs to make sure the lapses on the defensive end don't happen Tuesday night. Hopefully DRose won't have to put up 30+ shots again.

It's gonna get "Derby" this weekend

Chet and some of the staff are going to be on assignment this weekend at the Derby.  We shall be residing in the infield and probably getting faced.  I plan on personally taking down atleast a bottle of woodford reserve tomorrow because im awesome like that. not really.  The real purpose of our trip down there is to get our friend Perry Mason wasted for his bachelor party.  This has proven to be a difficult task for years now and we plan on getting this done for the first time in what has to be 10 years.  Not since we were 16 and on the stroller, or having an assorted liquor night has the gagermon taken heat. Anyways......here are a couple picks for the weekend.  Brilliant Speed if its rainy is free money....his mutter was a mudder. For some reason I am unable to embed the video of kramer....please refer to youtube.  also, perry mason's totally awesome dad who is known as the jamaican will be in the infield with us probably losing his sh*t.  It's gonna be classic.  I would bet all the chips on Brilliant Speed though if its raining......Toss the favorite or anyone who has odds less than 10-1.  its just not cool and favorites almost never win....The best horse almost never wins the derby, the field is huge.  The best horse name in this race was "Uncle Mo" who i would have bet on even though he went anorexic over the past year....other than that.....just pick 3 names out of a hat. and bet a tri box. Do it. congrats to Perry Mason.  I will be back with a recap of everything that is kosher next week......also, look for more frequent posts in the near future from chairman chet.  I have been slacking, but Im working for the first time in what feels like years so my apologies to our loyal readers.....which we have about 10 of.

I guess that was an improvement...

The reason behind why the Bulls won game 2 is two-fold; 1.) JoNoah and 2.) the Bulls owning the boards. Joakim was everywhere the Bulls needed him to be. He dominated the glass on both ends of the court and was able to come up with some huge put-backs on missed jumpers. His stat line of 19 points and 14 boards doesn't reflect his effect on the defensive end. The game plan to defend JJ and JCraw was to aggressively clog up the lane and show help when ever they ran an iso. Jo was a huge part in that as he was sagging off of Horford or Smith which led to one of them getting a pass and putting up a bad shot (mostly Smith, he was stinky). The Hawks as a team shot only 34% from the field (Bulls not much better at 39%) and JJ/JCraw were held to 27 points. Secondly, the Bulls were +19 in rebounds. Its good when the Bulls are getting many second shot opportunities and taking them away from the Hawks.

DRose had an okay game. He did score 25 points, but it was off of 27 shots. Furthermore he was 1-for-8 from behind the arc. Those need to start falling in order for the Teague to stop going under screens and sagging off him. Otherwise they'll just close the driving lanes that Derrick thrives off of so much. He did get to the rim more than game 1 and actually got to the charity stripe in game 2, so that is an improvement. He also had 10 dimes but with 8 turnovers, so those kind of nullify each other. He says that he is still confident in his shooting and those are shots he normally makes. Is his ankle bothering him? He for sure isn't letting anyone know if it is. Boozer had another similar performance with 8 points and 11 rebounds (one turnover, shocking). He is blaming it on his turf toe injury and I'm sure that it is indeed hampering his offensive ability and allowing Josh Smith some highlight-reel blocks (J-Smooth isn't getting much on the offensive end chucking up bricks). I guess we'll just have to live with it as long as he limits his turnovers and gets 10-and-10. The bench mob had a rough go at it. CJ was taking too long to get into sets and it led to a couple bad shots with the shot clock running out. Korver had a poor shooting night but was a +11 (compared to Bogans +1). Even if Korver is shooting poorly, he still spreads the floor and doesn't allow the defense to sag off Derrick so much. Might need to give more minutes to HotSauce. Taj had a decent game and was a +7, hes going to have to produce a little more and help pick up Boozer's slack. The Bulls certainly aren't winning pretty games. But they won and that is all that matters right now. Game 3 is Friday night in the ATL, hopefully the Bulls can keep owning the boards and keep JJ & JCraw to under 30 points collectively. Lord knows Josh Smith will still be there taking bad shots.

Will the real MVP please stand up?

Okay, I get it. Derrick Rose is the nicest most humble MVP ever. He gave a great speech and thanked his mom. It was all very heartfelt and he said all the right things. That being said, none of that matters anymore. Rose and his teammates lost convincingly to a team that they previously gave a thrashing to the last time they met. The Bulls got off to a very slow start going down by 10 points early during a DRose shooting stretch of 0-for-7. Honestly, I didn't think the Bulls would relinquish the lead once they got it in the 3rd quarter. But they were unable to do the same things they did against this team during the regular season. Derrick had ZERO attempts from the charity stripe and the Bulls couldn't control the glass. Another thing was that the Hawks (and especially Teague) executed a decent defensive game plan against Derrick. The Hawks were sagging off the pick-and-roll and not allowing The One to attack the basket aggressively, daring him to hit shots from the outside. DRose had no problem during the regular season proving his critics wrong about his outside game, but he wasn't able to keep the Hawks defense honest by shooting 2-for-7 from the land of plenty. When he was actually able to get to the rim, DRose was only able to hit 4-of-9 and somehow was never fouled on any of those attempts. Maybe the refs were waiting for him to actually get the MVP trophy. Was his ankle hampering him from playing his usual game? I couldn't tell you because he's been practicing every day so it doesn't seem like it. The cherry on top of this sundae of brutality is that JJ and JCraw were making EVERYTHING. Their quickness and sharp shooting was absolutely killing the Bulls and Thibs had no answer. Most of those jumpers were of the "ill-advised-fade-away-with-a-hand-in-your-face" variety. This was just one of those nights where they were making everything (JJ was 5-for-5 from behind the arc), and the Bulls were mediocre. JJ is good, but not good enough to put up 34 points every night. For some reason Thibs refused to double him. They need to get the ball out of his hands and into the those of his less talented teammates. Deng was our best player offensively, but even he couldn't keep JJ from filling up the stat sheet. Boozer played better than he had been recently (not hard seeing what he was playing like a couple days ago) and scored 3 straight baskets during a Bulls run. The bench mob surprisingly saw a lot of time together in game 1. They initially began the Bulls comeback in the 1st half and played a bit in the 2nd half. It was good to see them perform well, but Thibs may have rode them a little too long.

I'm not hating on DRose because he is obviously THE reason that the Bulls are in this position in the first place. But If the Bulls are gonna win this series, he needs to be the best player in the series. We'll see tonight if the Bulls are able to get out of this rut of slow starts and get Derrick going early. It's obvious he needs to be more aggressive and get to the rim or get fouled on his way there, the question is if his ankle will allow him to. His decision making needs to be on point on the pick-and-roll and he needs to be able to knock down the outside jumpers. I hope JJ doesn't have another night where he is making everything from everywhere, but you never know. The Bulls let one slip after Thibs got his individual trophy, hopefully the same thing doesn't happen now that DRose has his.

Fast Five Review

Too Fast. Too Furious. Who's ready for the summer movie season? Ready or not it is upon us. Get ready for 5 months of explosions, monsters, robots, super heroes, and formula comedies(looking at you Hangover 2.) I really think this is the summer people get their fill of super heroes. Thor, Capt. America, Green Lantern. Yay!

On to the review. This isn't your Pankiw's Fast & Furious movie. Those of you who pay a little bit of attention to these flicks know its pretty much tons of geared out gear head gear porn. This movie is less that and more mainstream action with car chases. The ending is just nonsense. To bring you up to speed. Dom(Vin Diesel) has just been broken out of prison by Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster. The super elite team of super agents have been hired to track him down and bring him in. Hobbs(played by the Rock) is all piss n vinegar going after the group. So everyone ends up in Rio, Dom decides to pull one last job(riiiiighhhhtttt, until the next movie) and then everyone goes their separate ways. Of course to do this impossible job they need to bring everyone back from the old movies cause the mission is CRAZY. Explosions, poop jokes, and a billion car crashes latter everyone leaves without a scratch on them.

There are a billion plot holes in this movie, and I swear at one point the Rock was thrown through 3 walls, smashed in the face 10 times, in a car crash, and shot. But is no worse for wear after its all said and done. If you can look past that sort of thing the movie is enjoyable. Hot local, good action, one liners, and even a dose of Ocean's 11 in there. This movie is very watchable even if you haven't seen any of the other ones, in fact it would be the only Fast and Furious I would every recommend to anyone, its just a solid popcorn flick. And for those worried about the asain dude from Tokyo drift, its cool, hes back because this a prequel to that horrible movie.

Lil Hollywood insider note. Vin Diesel is apparently a dbag. Shows up late, doesn't know his lines, and thinks he is a big deal. Word is the Rock showed up on set in shape, and 3 times the size of Vin. Knew his lines, was kind to the crew, and generally set the tone. Vin got all butt hurt and tried to get in shape at the last minute, which shows in the movie, he is mostly arm shots and yelling. Lil Carlos Boozer in his game really.

I give Fast Five 3 and half Cushes

Welcome to the ATL

In a shocking turn of events, Thibs won COY. That’ll happen when you slap 21 wins on a team that finished 41-41 last year. He may want to thank DRose for his new piece of hardware. As Thibs will most likely say, this isn’t the piece of hardware that he is ultimately trying to obtain. It’s obvious that he and the rest of the team are gunning for the Larry O’Brien Trophy (worst trophy and worst trophy name in sports?), and the Atlanta Hawks now stand in their way. The Bulls played this team three times in the month of March and won the regular season series 2-1. The Hawks stole the first game by coming back from a 17-point deficit in the second half and the Bulls blew them out of the gym the last two games #HealthyAndConfidentCarlosBoozer. Lets break this series down.

Starting Five:

The latest word is that CaptainKirk is doubtful for the series with an injured hammy. Hinrich is by far the Hawks’ best perimeter defender and with him out, DRose will pretty much have free reign and will be able to do whatever he wants on the court. For Derrick, getting to the rim should be, as Stacey King would say, “easy cheese”. Deng has been a stalwart on both ends of the court all season and its good that both he and Derrick got these extra days of rest. Joakim is looking like he is back in form and is no longer plagued by injury. After a negative MRI, Boozy is still not practicing. Hopefully Carlos can get out of this funk and gain some confidence in this series. Hawks will throw JJ, Horford, Josh Smith, and Jason Collins at the Bulls. JJ has no problem filling it up and Horford has a good inside game. Look for JJ to take advantage and drop a bunch on the smaller Bogans, but the Bulls defense should be able to not let anyone else hurt them. We may even see JJ guard DRose a little as the Hawks try to throw a bigger guard at him. Advantage: Bulls

Bench:

The Hawks have last year’s 6^th man of the year Jamal Crawford at the Bulls off the bench. The guy could definitely deposit the ball in the hoop, but has more holes in his defensive game than a fishing net (could be worse than Boozer believe it or not). Besides J.Craw, the Hawks have Zaza Pachulia (the Jeff Foster of this series), Dominique Wilkins’ nephew Damien, and the former #2 overall draft pick Marvelous Marvin Williams will also come off the pine. Thibs proved in the Pacer series that he shorted up his bench rotations. HotSauce, TajMahal, and RonRonJuice will see most of the minutes. BigSexy and CJ will see some minutes due to foul trouble, but not many (although I would love to see Omerica and Zaza exchange Eastern European pleasantries #AsikAndDestroy). Korver is playing well and Taj came up huge in the last series, hopefully that will continue. Tough call here, but I’m giving the Bulls the slight edge because Zaza ,Marvin, and ‘Nique’s nephew are a pu-pu platter of stink. Advantage: Bulls

Coaching:

Both coaches are in their first year, but as everyone knows Thibs has been in the league for a lifetime. Larry Drew was able to develop a great game plan against D12 and the Magic, but I don’t think the same strategy will work for him against DRose. Plus Thibs just won COY, the man is on a roll. Advantage: Bulls

Intangibles:

The Bulls showed in the first series that they weren’t going to retaliate hard fouls with hard fouls of their own. The Hawks may take a page out of the Pacer playbook and make Zaza and Jason Collins their own goon squad and try to take Derrick out of his game. The Hawks’ roster isn’t filled with the same type of gritty, “blue-collar” players on Indy, and this plays into the Bulls hands as they lost the battle for those 50-50 balls against the Pacers. Advantage: Push

Prediction:

The Hawks’ plan against D12 was to play him straight up man-to-man. They were willing to let him score inside as long as they locked down their perimeter players. Implementing that strategy against DRose would be a mistake. Unless Hinrich comes back, Jeff Teague on an island by himself guarding Derrick would be an absolute nightmare. The Hawks offense is mainly isolation, which plays right into the Bulls hands. The Bulls D should be able to clamp down on that. Look for the Bulls to learn a lot from the first series by mainly not turning the ball over as much. Bulls in 5 if Boozer shows up, Bulls in 6 if CaptainKirk shows up.